Questions and Answers: Gender Identity in Schools – What do I do if a student discloses a gender variant identity to me?

What do I do if a student discloses a gender variant identity to me?

If a student discloses to you their gender variant identity, it is important to support the student’s self-definition and to ensure that they know they are valued.Footnote 61 Listen to what the student has to say about how they are feeling and what their gender identity means to them and ask them what they would like you to do (if anything). It is important to not attempt to ‘fix’ the gender variant youth by attempting to convince them to abandon their gender variant identity. This is not effective and actually leads to low self-esteem and mental health issues such as depression, self-harm and suicide.Footnote 62

HETEROSEXISM:
The assumption that everyone is heterosexual and that this sexual orientation is superior. Heterosexism is often expressed in more subtle forms than homophobia.

Current research indicates that gender variant individuals consciously select people to disclose to who they trust and who they believe will be supportive and sympathetic to their gender identityFootnote 63. Maintaining the trust and confidentiality of the gender variant youth is, therefore, paramount. For example, when a student discloses their gender identity, ask them what name they would prefer to be called, what pronouns they would prefer you to use with them, talk to them about who they have disclosed to, who is and is not supportive, and who they would like help disclosing to. Do not talk to anyone about their identity, including parents/caregivers, to whom they have not already disclosed their gender identity.

The disclosure of their gender identity is one of the most challenging and important pronouncements gender variant individuals share with others. For many, it may signify the end point of a very long internal struggle to be secretive with their identity because of fear or shame.Footnote 64

Disclosure of one’s identity is a milestone that may signify self-acceptance of their identity and the beginning of a ‘new life’.Footnote 65 It is important, however, to talk to the gender variant youth about the potential range of reactions to this disclosure within the school community and within the family. Discuss with them the possibility of rejection, harassment, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, and aid the gender variant youth in developing coping mechanisms.Footnote 66 Assist them in identifying resources where they can get information and support (see also the list of resources at the end of this document). Become actively involved in the creation of the school as a safe space for the gender variant student by addressing instances of bullying and harassment immediately, providing inclusive sexual health education programming and educating the entire school community about gender identity issues. For example, organize guest speakers at school assemblies who are gender variant, show films about gender identity issues in the classroom, and ensure that there is literature in the school library related to gender identity.

What can the schools do to support gender variant youth?

Provide a Safe Environment

The most important task for schools is to provide a safe, nurturing, non-violent atmosphere in which to learn, to grow, and to develop for all students, inclusive of all gender identities. Today, Canadian society is more diverse than ever before and educators, school administrators and other people involved with school-aged youth need to become informed of these diverse identities, including gender identities. The first important step for educators is acknowledging that gender variant youth exist in the school system and that expressing various gender identities is an acceptable way of living. Schools should not wait until a gender variant student comes forward to address the issue. By the time a student makes their identity known it is likely that they have been struggling on their own for some time.

Develop School-wide Policies

Gender identity issues need to be handled with dignity and respect in the school system and be clearly outlined though inclusive policies and procedures. School administrators, teaching and support faculty can improve the school environment for gender variant students and foster an environment where people of all gender identities can be themselves, by learning about and providing accurate information about gender diversity, and by supporting gender variant students through inclusive school policy.Footnote 67 Educators themselves may also feel more supported when addressing gender identity issues in the school-setting when anti-harassment policies are in place.Footnote 68

ALLY:
A person, regardless of his or her sexual orientation, who supports the human, civil, and sexual rights of sexual minorities.

For example, a mission statement can be created for the school that affirms gender identity and demonstrates that the school is a safe space where everyone is valued.Footnote 69 A policy against harassment and violence against gender variant individuals should be implemented in the school. By adding ‘gender identity’ to the school’s non-discrimination policies, gender variant individuals will be given legal recourse if they have been bullied or victimized. It will also send a message to the school community that gender variant people are worthy of respect and that violence and discrimination will not be tolerated.

When harassment and violence are observed and/or reported, educators and administrators have a duty to react immediately and to create an environment where disrespect of any kind will not be ignored, and to build an understanding among all students of how both words and actions can hurt others.Footnote 70 There are many different ways for educators to deal with situations of transphobia in the school, includingFootnote 71 :

  • addressing assumptions that being gender variant is a bad thing and stressing that everyone in the school environment deserves to be respected;
  • confronting the stereotypes and misinformation behind the insults and abuse; and,
  • making a plan with students for more appropriate responses to insults rather than physical violence or reverse name-calling

HOMOPHOBIA:
Fear and/or hatred of homosexuality in others, often exhibited by prejudice, discrimination, intimidation, or acts of violence. Similarly, “transphobia” refers to the fear and/or hatred of transgender individuals and is exhibited by prejudice, discrimination, intimidation, or acts of violence. “Biphobia” refers to the fear and/or hatred of bisexual individuals and is exhibited by prejudice, discrimination, intimidation or acts of violence.

Students should also be aware of where they can go if they have experienced harassment or abuse and they should be given the option of anonymous reportingFootnote 72, since some students may fear retribution for reporting victimization. The names of staff who are most knowledgeable regarding gender identity issues should be identified and publicized within the school so students can access the appropriate person/people to contact if they have questions or concerns.Footnote 73 To resolve problems quickly and to avoid stigmatizing the gender variant person in the situation, allies and role models should be located near areas of the school where students are likely to encounter prejudice from peers (i.e., near bathrooms and/or locker rooms).

PASSING:
Refers to when gender variant individuals portray their self-identified gender to others in a way that others correctly perceive this self-identified gender. When this happens, that gender variant individual is said to be “passing”.

Inclusive language should be included on all school-wide forms, printed material and websites. For example, schools should consider adding categories other than male and female on all forms so as not to ignore the variety of gender identities. Such categories may include transgender, two-spirit, and gender variant. By using more inclusive language, not only will gender variant youth feel more supported but it will also help to educate the entire school community about gender diversity. A mechanism should also be in place for those students who wish to change their gender designation on school records (i.e., students who are transitioning should have their new gender reflected on documents including ID cards, transcripts etc.).Footnote 74 The names of individuals within the guidance/registrar’s office who can facilitate name and gender changes on school records should be clearly publicized and a simple, one-stop procedure should be in place for transitioning youth.Footnote 75

Professional Development Opportunities

Educators should be given the opportunity for in-service training and development on gender identity issues.Footnote 76 While educators may recognize the need to address issues of gender identity in the school, many teachers and school administrators are not sufficiently trained and may not feel comfortable taking on that role.Footnote 77 Educators should be able to reflect on their personal assumptions and beliefs about gender roles in order to facilitate a non-judgmental learning environment.Footnote 78

Training sessions on gender identity issues should be made available for all staff. For example, Professional Development days could have workshops or presentations to raise awareness and levels of knowledge about the experiences and needs of gender variant students. These workshops could provide an opportunity to discuss the skills needed to be a good ally and to develop an ‘action plan’ or list of concrete actions needed to improve the school environment for people of all genders.Footnote 79 Training should also be supported at the administrative level to allow for the appropriate subject matter and time requirements needed for learning.

Raise Awareness

By educating the entire school community on gender identity issues, educators and administrators can help to reduce the risks of discrimination, stigmatization, and marginalization experienced by gender variant youth.Footnote 80 Opportunities should be provided for the entire school body to learn about gender diversity through activities such as public seminars or presentations, distribution of educational materials and hosting performances that challenge gender norms and/or educate on gender identity issues.Footnote 81 The school could also have an event or activity to commemorate the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20). Furthermore, a web-based school resource guide outlining the school’s policy on sexual orientation and gender identity can be developed and distributed for new, existing and prospective gender variant students and staff.Footnote 82 When including all students in learning and awareness activities you are affirming and enhancing the self-esteem and sense of self of gender variant youth and fostering an environment of tolerance for all students.

Challenge Gender Norms

LGBTTQ:
A commonly used acronym for the constellation of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirited, and queer identities. Sexual minority is a synonymous term.

School policies that segregate students by gender ignore and stigmatize individuals who challenge the typical “male” or “female” notions and can cause emotional, and psychological distress for students.Footnote 83 Educators should challenge gender norms within the classroom and school community, such as “only boys play rough sports” or “only girls wear nailpolish”Footnote 84 and avoid activities that require students to choose a gender (e.g., avoid dividing the class into boys and girls groups for activities). All school organizations, clubs and teams should be supportive and create a welcoming space for all students. Gender variant youth should be allowed to join sports teams according to their self-identified gender as opposed to requiring them to join based on their biological sex.Footnote 85 Gender variant individuals should not have to disclose their gender in order to participate if they are not ready.

One of the main areas where gender variant people experience psychological/emotional distress and harassment is in the use of public washrooms. To avoid potential conflicts, publicize to all students and faculty the location of single occupancy bathrooms and designated gender neutral facilities including the creation of private showers in locker rooms with curtains or doors. Schools can also create a gender neutral restroom so gender variant individuals can use the restroom they find appropriate.Footnote 86

What can the schools do to support the parents/caregivers of gender variant youth?

Families are not always a safe place for gender variant youth. It is important not to involve the parents/caregivers of gender variant youth unless the youth themselves have already disclosed their identity to their families or you have a legal duty to report such as in the case of risk of self-harm. The gender variant youth may be put at risk within their homes if parents/caregivers who were unaware of their child’s identity are approached by the school.

COMING OUT:
Often refers to “Coming out of the closet”– the act of disclosing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity (e.g., to friends, family members, colleagues).

Parents/caregivers whose children “come out” (disclose their identity) to them may have a variety of reactions ranging from loving acceptance to rejection and expulsion of the child from the home.Footnote 87 Parents/caregivers who discover their child’s gender identity accidently may be in emotional crisis. All parents/caregivers of gender variant youth can be supported by directing them to community and counselling resources and support groups to help deal with the range of emotions including shock, anger, grief, guilt, and shame. Parents/caregivers will likely be seeking answers to many questions and should be provided with information on gender identity to educate them on what their child is experiencing and why, as well as the health and safety concerns of their gender variant child.Footnote 88 Parents/caregivers of gender variant youth may need help in understanding that the gender identity was not caused by poor parenting, nor did their child choose it.

Well-informed and accepting parents/caregivers can be allies in ensuring the healthy development and resiliency of gender variant youth. For example, parents/caregivers can help gender variant youth learn techniques of recognizing and combating stigma, discrimination, and verbal abuse, and to develop coping strategies.Footnote 89 All children, regardless of gender identity, need support, acceptance, and compassion from their families to thrive and parents/caregivers should be supported in this role to ensure the healthy development of gender variant youth.

How can the schools build resiliency among gender variant youth?

Resiliency is a person’s ability to overcome adversity and effectively cope with and adapt to stressful and challenging situations in life. While the school setting can often be a stressful environment for gender variant youth, schools can take steps to become a safe and respectful place for them.

‘Safe spaces’ should be created in the school where gender variant youth are welcome and can find a sense of belonging. Gender variant students often feel isolated. Creating a support or social group where they feel part of a community can lead to greater sense of self-worth and increase the likelihood that they will remain in school. Research indicates that low school attachment, high feelings of alienation from school and peers leads to greater risk of dropping out.Footnote 90

Gender identity resources should also be made available in the school libraries and be included in the curricula.Footnote 91 Educators should also consider introducing resources into their planning which address prejudices and gender identity issues (for a list of resources, see the list at the end of this document).Footnote 92 Exposing students to gender identity issues and resources will not cause students to question their gender identity. Rather, it provides assurance to the students who already know that they are different that they are not alone.Footnote 93

While not all youth require the same supports in order to become more resilient, a Canadian study94 found that there were seven common protective factors shared by resilient youth:

  • access to material resources (i.e., availability of food, clothing, shelter, education and health services);
  • access to supportive relationships (i.e., relationships with family, peers and community);
  • development of a desirable personal identity (i.e., having a sense of purpose, aspirations and beliefs);
  • experiences of power and control (i.e., ability to affect change in social and physical environment);
  • adherence to cultural traditions (i.e., adherence to or knowledge of cultural practice and values);
  • experiences of social justice (i.e., finding a meaningful role, acceptance and social equity in the community); and
  • experience of a sense of cohesion with others (i.e., balancing personal interests with a sense of responsibility for the larger community).

By providing the appropriate support systems, schools have the capacity to build the resiliency of gender variant youth. Not all gender variant youth will feel comfortable in a school that is not aware or supportive of their needs. With the appropriate resources and role models, gender variant youth have a greater chance of overcoming their struggles of discovering and developing their gender identity. The tolerance and acceptance of gender diversity in a school setting will also create an atmosphere of safety for other students who are or who may feel different.

Concluding Remarks

It is paramount that professionals working with gender variant youth ensure that the young person’s rights and dignity are respected. It is important that evidence-based strategies, such as those found in this document, are used to support age-appropriate discussions on gender, sexual health, and informed decision-making. The Canadian Guidelines for Sexual Health Education is a resource that educators, school administrators and health professionals can use to assess their current sexual health education programs, to plan and implement sexual health education that is inclusive of the health, safety, and educational needs of gender variant youth, and to monitor and evaluate those programs to ensure that they are accurate, evidence-based and non-judgmental.

The failure to respond adequately to the educational, social, cultural and public health needs of gender variant youth removes these youth from key supports and protective factors in their lives. Lack of supports and protective factors, particularly within the school system where they spend much of their time, increases the risks they experience as vulnerable youth and may encourage them to leave school altogether. It is critical that the schools work to support gender variant youth to develop resilience, and to become healthy, happy and productive adults.

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